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Singlemom.com was formed to specifically assist single mothers. We feel deeply that single mothers need and deserve additional support resources and tools specific to their unique roles as single mothers.
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Singlemom.com offers all of its website resources and support without a membership or monthly fee for access. We are the number one comprehensive Website that truly serves single mothers and their families. The objective of Singlemom.com is to provide a comfortable, stable, supportive information environment focused on single mothers and issues that affect them and their children; to help them through this transition in their lives, providing them with guidance, emotional support and ultimately a means for them to become self sufficient and reliant for the benefit of themselves and their children.
SingleMom.com is already the largest organization and most comprehensive Website serving single mothers on the Internet nationwide. With almost 6 years of volunteer experience helping other nonprofit organizations, plus experience with Website development, and our Internet Community, we have a comprehensive understanding of the needs of our unique visitors, single mothers; the challenges they face, and the strength they possess.
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51 comments:
Hello - My name is Heidi. I am a single mother with two boys ages 13, and 15. I have been a single mother since they were 1 and 3. It has been very challenging and the ups and downs have been stressful and draining to say the least. I returned to college full time last year and am seeking a degree in elementary education. This past year has been extremely difficult financially but I am looking forward to the rewards when I am finished. I have manged to make the college president's list the past 3 semesters by maintaining a 4.0 average and I don't think I'm that smart. It has just been alot of dedication and hard work. It's never to late to return to college to change your situation. I am 47 years old and it was a huge decision. My kids are having a hard time with it because of our finances and I have had to make alot of sacrifices but they will get over it (I hope). I encourage mothers to get back to college because it has done so much for me as far as my self-esteem and self confidence. It's never to late.
Heidi
Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida
Let's not forget one of the most famous "single" mothers and that is the author of the Harry Potter Books - a woman that was on welfare and started her stories as something to read to her kids.
Let her be another inspiration to all single mothers!
Thank you Heidi & Rose for the kind words & encouragement... Reading your comments give us all a strength to make it through these hardest years & try hearder to better our children life.
All the best wishes to you & all the single moms out there.
Im 29 and a single mom of a 10 yr old girl who thinks shes already a young adult and an 8 yr old boy-i have no financial support from anyone besides myself. I work full time and go to school 4 times a week evenings, but yet I can never seem to get ahead of the constant mountain which looms ahead with mortgage payments, condo fees, medical bills, school lunches, daycare providers, utility bills, grocieries, etc. It seems that no matter how hard I try with the constant late fines compiling and even attorney fees included at times, I can't get to where I should be. I want to give them a good life and am just tired at feeling that I suck. I just want to feel like I really can provide for my children as I see other children are being provided for. Any suggestions.....
I am 39 with 2 daughters that are 12 and 10. I don't get any support from my ex. I struggle everyday and I work 2 jobs. Their Dad buys all of the "fun" stuff (quads, trailer, pool,and anything they ever ask for)and I budget every little detail. I pay for the Dr., the dentist, the braces, shoes, socks, clothes, you know the not so exciting necessities. I get so resentful and jealous of it. Just tonight I took my daughter to her basketball practice that I take her to every week and make it to every game and her Dad decides to show up (he doesn't go to the practices or games) and he's the hero. I never show that it hurts in front of the girls (I usually cry silently in bed) and I never talk bad about their Dad to them. I feel like I will never get ahead and my personality is so different now. I used to be so outgoing and happy and now I worry all the time and seem bitter. I am always whining to my friends about this...but honestly don't know how to stop it...any suggestions from anyone would help. I feel like such a failure in life!!
Hello, My name is Ellen and I just stumbled into this place looking for some online support/connections with other single Moms. My kids are 18,14 and 11 and I have been raising them alone for 7 years. I can relate to all the posts here...there never seems to be enough time or money even though I have a profession...sick kids, teacher conferences, whatever lead to lost work time and, therefore, no money in that day. I remember when my kids were smaller and my sitter took home more than I did after paying her in the summer...Getting divorced was absolutely the right move for me though and I have no regrets.
Stress is a biggie for me...this morning, a day I planned to work and earn over 400 dollars...my daughter woke up sick. I had no choice but to take her to the doctor and didnt get to work until almost one. Then my son called and said he had to stay after school to make up a quiz...so, since I have no backup I had to elave work early and pick him up...and I work 45 minutes from the house. I earned very little today and I cope with restaining the urge to vent at the kids...which I dont do...but I guess I had to vent to someone...so thanks for listening
:-)
Hello, My name is Ellen and I just stumbled into this place looking for some online support/connections with other single Moms. My kids are 18,14 and 11 and I have been raising them alone for 7 years. I can relate to all the posts here...there never seems to be enough time or money even though I have a profession...sick kids, teacher conferences, whatever lead to lost work time and, therefore, no money in that day. I remember when my kids were smaller and my sitter took home more than I did after paying her in the summer...Getting divorced was absolutely the right move for me though and I have no regrets.
Stress is a biggie for me...this morning, a day I planned to work and earn over 400 dollars...my daughter woke up sick. I had no choice but to take her to the doctor and didnt get to work until almost one. Then my son called and said he had to stay after school to make up a quiz...so, since I have no backup I had to elave work early and pick him up...and I work 45 minutes from the house. I earned very little today and I cope with restaining the urge to vent at the kids...which I dont do...but I guess I had to vent to someone...so thanks for listening
:-)
Hello, My name is Ellen and I just stumbled into this place looking for some online support/connections with other single Moms. My kids are 18,14 and 11 and I have been raising them alone for 7 years. I can relate to all the posts here...there never seems to be enough time or money even though I have a profession...sick kids, teacher conferences, whatever lead to lost work time and, therefore, no money in that day. I remember when my kids were smaller and my sitter took home more than I did after paying her in the summer...Getting divorced was absolutely the right move for me though and I have no regrets.
Stress is a biggie for me...this morning, a day I planned to work and earn over 400 dollars...my daughter woke up sick. I had no choice but to take her to the doctor and didnt get to work until almost one. Then my son called and said he had to stay after school to make up a quiz...so, since I have no backup I had to elave work early and pick him up...and I work 45 minutes from the house. I earned very little today and I cope with restaining the urge to vent at the kids...which I dont do...but I guess I had to vent to someone...so thanks for listening
:-)
Ellen,
I am Lori, the 39 year old mother of the two girls who posted last night.We have all been there and yesterday was one of "those days" for me. Yep! I cried into the pillow last night. But today was a much better day.I just have to keep believing that in the long run...we will prevail. There is an entire generation of us women who are strong enough to do this on our own. Believe me, I lived my entire childhood with unhappy parents that thought that they were doing us a favor by "staying together for the children". We have left relationships that were destructive and believed in ourselves and proven that we will survive and thrive. Just keep your head up and know that tomorrow is a new day, but that when you need to vent or cry or scream...we are here for you! You may be lonely at times...but you will never be alone! Hope you have a great tomorrow!
I have had it up to here! I can't say it any other way!
Who would choose this path? What is success? Is it not going bankrupt? Is it not committing yourself or your children? I am serious!
I left an abusive marriage with a sociopath, and now in the aftermath, I must raise emotionally volatile children (with unstable gene pools) while I keep from going insane and selling my own skin to pay my bills.
And for those of you who don't work. Do! It is soooooo much easier than being a Mom....single or not!
Oh to be young again. I would vow celibacy, and scoff at suitors.
Hi my name is Terri, Im a 25 year old mother of two, my son Tristen (5) and my daughter Dacee (4). I left there father because he was emotionaly abusive and had drug problem. Before we split he really did not have much to do with the kids just when he felt like it really. When we split he became super dad which i thought was great he was spending time with them and really making an effort. He got off the drugs and started going to church. I know its sounds horriable because the best thing for my children may have been for us to get back together but i just couldnt do it because i was done if you know what i mean we were married 6 years and i could take anymore. He finally gave up also. It took almost a year for our divorce to be final and when it was he was remarried 3 days later. I was not upset about this just a little worried for my children because he only knew his new wife for about 6 months.
I was in college when we split but FINALLY finished now i have a good job and i support my children 100% he pays for nothing because his new wife has 2 children of her own and they have one together (that makes 5 between the 2 of them). He makes very little money and can not provide for them.
We share joint custody of the children where they are with him for a week them with me for a week. I hate this situation because we can not get along at all. His new wife hates me for some reason and refused to talk to me. If i call to check on the children when they are with him they refuse to answer the phone we send text messages if we have to communicate at all. My daughter was inrolled in a dance class and they refused to tell me where and when finally i had to go through my laywer and his laywer to find out. I cant understand why everything has to be so hard we have children together and what is in their best intrest should be first right. My son tells me he is not allowed to talk about me when he is with his dad and if he does he has to call me "mother" instead of mommy. My poor children are suffering so much its like they dont know which way to turn. I dont want them to have to choose between their father and I cause why should they have to. I wish that we could raise our children together even though we are not together...anyone know what i mean?
Hello, my name is Crystal and I'm 23 year old single mom with one girl, Chastlyn who's 3 and another baby expected in April. I actually came to this website doing research for a paper on working single moms (something I can relate to), and I wanted to know other's input on this: How do single working moms define themselves as a genre? Any opinions would be helpful! Thanks!
Crystal
Hello, my name is melissa and i live in oh. I am a single mother of 3. There ages are 7,5,and 16mos. I am trying to find more info on getting help with purching a home for me and my kids. Right now i am in a two bedroom apt. I don't know if anyone can help me but anything would be helpful. Thank you
How wonderful to find this site. I recently relocated to Los Angeles and had no resources for any services. Just recently my car broke down and I still have no clue as to where to find an honest mechanic. Being taken advantage of can be so common as a single mom. Hopefully we can all be a positive resource for each other. Oh, and if you know of a good mechanic, let me know, :-)
mizzpeach@hotmail.com
Hello. My name is Kris. I am a single mother of two sons ages 10 and 6. I am 36 years old. 'Everyone has a story' particularly every single Mom.
I am working on going back to school. I currently bartend/serve what is considered full-time. I am going to go to Cosemtology School. Anyone out there already in the business? Going through school too? My 10 year old is beginning the pre-teen attitude and my six year old is very imaginative. I do have some support from their Dad and very little from my own family.
I would love a supportive group of women who understand what it is to be a single mom trying to make a better life for herself and her children.
How does one go about exchanging besides this general posting?
Hi Everyone, I am so glad to even get the strength to go into my computer today. My name is Anabelle, I am 33 and a single mom of a 2 1/2yr. old little girl. I have been dealing with depression for all this time and day by day i just pray to find peace in my life. Every weekend i just lock myself up in bed for i am so exhausted and don't have much energy to do my chores or play with my daughter. I can't build a stable relationship as I need to be stable myself. I need to come to terms and understand that i am a single mom and all my previous plans of what i envisioned my life to be are different now. I have very little support here in NY and though I have my degree and job that pays well i still live check to check as most of my money goes to daycare. I pray i can find a source of learning to overcome my depression and be the happy person i use to be. My story may not be as extreme as some others but it is extreme enough for me. How do I cope? How do i get the energy to get out of bed and be happy and enjoy life with my daughter? I hope for hope that one day I can find peace with myself and be able to build a healthy loving relationship with myself, my daughter and future partner.
Hello,
My name is Mary and I am a 22 year old single mother with an 11 month old girl. I am in the midst of a custody battle with her father, whom I was never married to. The last thing I want is for him to get joint custody of her. I also dont want my daughter staying overnight until she is 2 years old. Does anyone have experience with these two subjects and the court system. Thanks for your help.
Hi everyone, I am 37, thought I was in a stable relationship with my fiance until this weekend, and was absolutely elated that I was pregnant (currently 11 weeks). I found out this weekend that my fiance has been cheating on me so I have decided without hesitation to end the relationship. I have recently started my own business but do not make enough to support myself and my child. My ex fiance is a CEO and will help with the child support once the baby comes but in all honesty, I don't want any future ties to this man. I am so hurt, betrayed, scared... I have wanted a baby for so long but not under these circumstances. I am so lost and not sure which direction to go. If I terminate the pregnancy I feel I will regret it for the rest of my life. If I have the baby I just don't know how I can do it alone. Does anyone have any similar experiences they can share? I feel like I am dying on the inside...
Hi all,
No one ever tells us that being a single mom will be easy. No one ever tells us that there're so much more that we need to be ready to be a single mom.
It's definitely NOT an easy road for any of us, but somehow many of us find the strength to carry on with life. Raise our children and make it all over again.
To my friend 37 years old with your ex was cheated on you. I know that you just stared out your business & it'll not be easy for you. But don't be so scare, even you mentioned that you don't want to have any future ties with this man. You HAVE to collect child support from him.
Remember this is NOT for you, but for your child. Why would you let him go that easy; this is alos his responsibility too. It takes 2 people to conceive & you have done your share & plenty more to come.
Think your your unborn child. Think of his/her well-being.
Think of what the child support can better his/her life.
Put your pride & pain behind & think of your child's BEST interest.
I know it's not easy, but running singlemom.com, I've SEEN & READ many emails & many stories that just broke my heart... & seeing many single moms struggle every day to have food on the table for their children...
& just to let you know, average for a single mom in America to collect the first child support is 18 months to 2 years!!!!
Now imagine that your ex has the ability to pay child support.
PLEASE TAKE UP on that for your unborn baby!
There's simply no help out there for you unless you are making minimun wage.
Best of wishes to you & all single moms out there. My heart goes to you all.
Amanda
Los Angeles, CA
Dear Anonymous who's 37 and pregnant,
The choice is yours; but if you do choose life for your baby, you will know what it means to be human, to truly love beyond all reason, to be unselfish, to be real, to be imperfect, to be overwhelmed, to be tired, to be full of hope, and to be loved by someone who needs you, wants you, hates you (mostly in the teenage years), and who looks up to you as a hero.
And don't deny your child or your finance the justice of child support.
Godspeed.
Hi, I am a single mother of one almost eleven month old baby girl. She is soooo amazing! However, I get so tired at times and I find it really hard not to lose patience with her in those moments. I work six days a week(sometimes seven) and I NEVER get more than six hours sleep a night. I am stuggling financially and currently going through a bathroom renovation....ten days and counting:< I had to call my Mom tonight and say "you need to come and get this child now!" I often go five or six WEEKS without any sort of a break (I work mostly from home and always have my daughter with me when I do work outside of my house). Sometimes I look at my life and think "F#@*, how did I get here!!!!" If you can believe it my ex actually refused to take her when I called tonight as he already had plans to go to the bar. I sure can pick them! The good news is I got a beautiful baby out of the deal. I guess I just need to count to ten and breath deep when those really bad moments happen. Thanks for letting me vent!
Hi, I just came across this site while looking for information on Child Support. I have been divorced for 4 years now and have a 14 year old son and 10 year old daughter. Their father is not there for any of us emotionally or financially. He does see the kids every other weekend but does not know how to communicate with them (or anyone else for that matter) - my son now looks for exuses not to be with him - he was fired from his job in Novemeber and is now about $3000 dollars in arrears. Consequently, I am having a horrible time financially. I have a good job but, since it is only 32 hours a week, I am making alot less than I use to/ I am constantly living with fear that a check will bounce or whatever. Just today I am stressed because I have to call the landlord to let him know the rent will be late.
I know I am rambling but I have no one to share my fears and worries with.
I am grateful for my kids, who are the best people in the whole world and I want to do right for them. I am just so sick of struggling every day. Thanks for listening.
HI~ My name is mel and i am a new single mother of two ages 5 and 2. recently went through an extemely difficult relationship that is ending up in the courts. Still going through it and looking forward to more positive changes in my life. I recently have developed an interest in going to college in the human services field and am looking for any type of suggestions for grants and financial assistance. If any one can help I would really appreciate it. I was a stay at home mom and I regret not going to college when I was still married but that's life and now I am ready to move forward with out having to answer to anyone else. It's been really hard. I still have a lot of hurt, anger and frustration as to why this happened the way it did. Being a survivor of domestic violence if anyone is out there who can relate I would stongly suggest group therapy with other victims. This has helped me with so much and opened my eyes to sooo many ohter things that had happened in the past that I was not even aware of. Now I am ready to make a commitment ot my self to go to school and help other woman who are in the same situation. It's getting better and now I can look at myself and be proud of who I am becoming instead of always having that feeling of self doubt.
Good luck to everyone out there. Single mom's are the most stongest women on the planet!!
I have to say that I admire anyone who seeks higher education. However, I find it important that when one addresses issues of single parenthood they need to consider the child rather than the noncustodial parent. the non custodial parent should recieve the benefits that the custodial parent does...(If not a check either place in the childs hand or in an account for their use later)
Many of the single parents did not take precautions to prevent having a child to begin with.
Dear Anonymous who "admire[s] anyone who seeks higher education,"
A non-custodial parent, is a "non-custodial" parent by definition. This parent incurs neither the cost, stress, burden, responsibility or accountability that the custodial parent does. The custodial parent must pay rent/mortgage, buy clothes, pay for school supplies and fees, gas and fees for soccer/piano/cello/karate or whatever. This costs money, time, and energy. Someone has to foot the bill, so for the money to go into an "account" or into "the hands of the child" as in some form of a Trust Account, in most situations in unrealistic. Perhaps in very high income families where both parents have the means, a portion of income (that exceeds expenses) could be saved for college, for a wedding, for travel, for emergencies or whatever.
Final Note: I support the "Anonymous" poster who suggested group therapy for victims of Domestic Violence. I whole-heartedly agree. You are not alone babe! You do not have to suffer in silence. There is strength, freedom and even power, in calling it [domestic violence/abuse] what it is, naming it. Once you bring it out in the open and expose it [in the safety and presence of other survivors] you can move forward, move on, move up!
Hi my name is Vonne I have 2 boys 13 and 6 and a 10 girl. Both my boys have muscular dystrophy and autism. I have been divorced from there dad for 4 years. I saw them a few times and and hasnt seen them now for 3 1/2 years. He doesn't want any responsiblities is what he told me. I work with adults with developmental disablities ( profound MR) and my second job is life. I remarried after my first divorce bc scared of being alone and ended up with someone that was verbally and physically abusive. I divorced him a year and half ago. And have been single ever since. I have dated a few times. And have been seeing someone for the last 5 months. Unsure what the future holds but I try not to think about it. I use to live one day at a time but I am sick of living that way. One thing I hate to do is go to the store and see all these familys together and smiling and having fun. I feel so alone and sad. But a friend of mine told me looks can be deceiving but it still hurts. I try to stay busy and the weekends are the worst for me that is when I get depressed and lonely. So when that happens I call a friend. My best friend is a guy and I usually try to call him and he can always snap me out of and get me to laugh again. I have the greatest kids and I love my job and I am so gratefully for my family and friends. With all the doctors appt. for my boys and physically theraphy appt. I would have lost it if it wasn't for them. Hopefully one day I will get married again and they will love me and the kids and will take care of us and will be there for us. Until then I stay busy and finally instead of living one day at a time I am dreaming of the future and making plans for me and the kids. But vacations are hard bc the money but the kids decided they want to go canoeing so we are going for a weekend. Single moms rock We should be president we can multi task better than anyone and can stretch a dollar bill, and we work 24 / 7 but i wouldn't trade it for the world. Have a great day!
To the Anonymous person that seems to think that it's all our fault.... I have been a single mom by choice for the last 5 years for one reason. It's better for my daughter. Her father was very abusive and I chose not to stay in that kind of relationship. I would hate for her to grow up and choose one like it. I recently met someone who promised me the world and when we found out I was pregnant, revoked every word, so don't put it on the single moms. Not only did we have to open our legs someone had to put something there for a child to be concived. Yes we've made mistakes; we've paid our dues and will continue to until our children are grown. We work harder than any group of people because we are doing the work of 2 people. I heard the other day that as a stay at home mom your pay should be $138,000, in my mind, single moms not only deserve that but our paychecks too. Too many men get away with not paying child support because we don't do anything about it, mostly because we don't have time. We work outside the home at least 40 hours a week. We commute to and from work, go to soccer games, cheerleading practice, band camp, and so many other things that it's hard to tell which way is up. My daughter knows who her dad is visits him (almost 1600 miles away from me for 2 months at a time during the summer) and he pays support which helps to keep a roof over her head and food in her belly. Yes I will admit that I have made mistakes in my life. One of them was trusting a man at all, that's an entirely different story, but I will not raise a child(ren) on my own without help from the other person involved in creating that life. If they choose not to be in that child’s life, then in my book, they need to be in jail. Even if you can be a decent person in society, it shows your true personality to abandon a child who has done absolutely nothing wrong. I just have one other thing to say, I am ecstatic to hear that most of the women on this site are going back to school. I believe that you are doing so much for your child(ren) in that. I do however want to point out that proof reading is a very important skill. Some of these posts have many spelling and grammatical errors. Please have pride in what you write. I know most of us are just venting and getting out feelings that we have no where else to express. Just remember when you express those feelings on a blog, others are going to read what you write and you don't want them to think you are paying or have paid for a poor education. Stay strong.
hello - my name is Laura, i am 20 years old and 7 months pregnant. The father is still in the picture just not ready to commit. I have no friends with babies and they are all pretty much still in "party mode" so i dont have too many people to talk to. I am scared to death and just wanted to know if there really is life after a baby. It definitely helps to know that alot of you are in school and i applaude you all i am also hoping to go back and finish my degree. I just wanted to reach out for some advice so anything would be much appreciated.
Hello, I have just turned 30 and am a single Mom of an 11 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. I have been a single Mom on and off since I was 18 years old. I am really glad to have found this forum. There are many times I have felt completely alone and it is nice to see that others are out there for support. I, like others, find the post about preventing becoming a single Mom to be very offensive. It seems that post was definitely not added by a single Mom. I think we are all very well aware of the mistakes that were made to get us where we are now. I really don't think that pointing fingers at others as if they can change where they are now is useful for anyone.
In response to "ready to resign", I appreciate your candid honesty about the way you are feeling. I think we all feel so much guilt already about our lives and our children's lives that we tend to sugar coat the reality of the situation as if being truly honest would make the situation worse. I have spent many years feeling this way and lately have realized that stating out loud whether to yourself or a trusted friend exactly how you feel-frustrated, angry (at kids or spouse, ex, etc..), whatever you feel, and allowing yourself to cry, scream, whatever release you need... Is better than pretending that you are superwoman and can handle everything smoothly. All that happens when you do this is bottle up your emotions and become one cranky, hard to get along with individual. As for the younger girls just becoming single Mom's, I feel for you. I was 18 and two months out of high school when I realized that life was taking a turn much different than I expected. I thought life was over and I was devastated. But, it wasn't over, just different. Life as a single Mom is a very difficult challenge, but you can still accomplish anything you want to achieve, it just may take a little longer. There is a lot of financial help through state welfare programs that will often pay full tuition on top of the Pell grants that schools offer. You can use this money to pay for books and supplies and still receive student loans to pay rent and other bills. It may not work out perfectly and you may end up owing money in the end, but it is definitely a way to accomplish an education. I also recommend looking into some of the certifications that you can use to get a better job right away while you continue going to school. I became a massage therapist and that has helped a lot. Sometimes, if the cert's. are offered through a community college or small college you can use those as your electives for an Associate's Degree and continue to get your gen ed. classes at the same time. The main thing I can suggest is to remember that children grow up extremely fast. It sounds like forever in the beginning, but it flies by. So enjoy all the little things your kids have to offer and the lessons they have to teach you because they will want to spend more time with their friends soon enough and you can have more time to do the things you want.
i am a 45 year old single mom of a 6,10 and 13 year old. My kids are amazing and wonderful and strong. I have no regrets in my marriage or divorce. I have not received a penny from my ex husband in 16 months. (working on it in court) He has also not seen the children in 4 months, and has only called spoken to them 2 times in that time.
Sometimes the glass just feels half empty and i need to have a pity party...other times i am able to realize how lucky i am...my children are healthy, we have a roof over our heads...shoes on our feet. i can feel bitter all i want because my ex's life is so free of worry and financial woes, but it doesnt help to waste my time.
I am trying to be persistant in going after the child support in court...dont speak badly about the childrens father to the children, and try to be as much for them as i can be!
Hardest time in my life,without a doubt. in the end, my kids will be okay.
Hi, I am a single mother-to-be (6 months pregnant). I'm 21 and a senior in college. Even though I only have one more year until I graduate, I just don't see how I am going to do it. I work part-time right now and I barely make enough just to support myself so when I put my baby in the picture I just don't see how I can do it. Because I'm part-time I don't recieve benefits from my job so when I take my unpaid maternity leave I don't know how I'm going to pay my mortgage and bills because I won't be working for at least a month. It's all kinda piling up. I want to find a full time job, but I know if I do that I will not finish school in a couple of years like I want to. See the dilema? So I have to decide school or money, and even though I don't need money for school because I have a scholarship, I won't have time to go back and still be able to support myself and my baby. I know being a single mother is tough, but geesh I'm facing hardships before he's even here!
I am a single Mom of a 2 year old boy named Clayton he is a bright blue eye boy and blonde hair He has ADHD and Austism and it is so hard to raise him alone But I am doing it
i M A SINGLE MOM TO A BOY OF 16 AND I CAN'T BE ANY MORE PROUD OF HIM. HIS FATHER DOES NOT PAY CHILD SUPPORT AND WE STRUGGLE EVERY DAY TO MAKE ENDS MEET. I AM AN LPN AND THE MONEY IS OKAY BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN UTILITY BILLS AND OTHER BILLS GET ME DOWN AND PUT ME WAY BEHIND. I GOT CAUGHT UP WITH OVERDRAFTS AT THE BANK AND GOING TO FAST CASH JOINTS JUST TO MAKE SURE THAT THE POWER WOULD NOT BE SHUT OFF. THE WINTERS HERE ARE THE WORST. SUMMERS ARE AS WELL BUT I WOULD RATHER BE IN A HOT HOUSE THAT BITTER COLD. IN SPITE OF MY FINANCIAL SITUATION I HAVE KEPT HIM IN A WARM HOUSE AND CLEAN CLOTHES. WHEN A WASHER OR DRYER GOES OUT I FIND A WAY TO FIX IT WITH USED PARTS.
I THINK THAT MY BIGGEST COMPLAINT IS THAT EVEN THOUGH I AM A NURSE I JUST CAN'T AFFORD HEALTH INSURANCE OR CAN'T FIND ANYONE TO HELP ME WHEN I GET INTO A JAM WITH MY UTILITIES AND FOOD. I MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY THEY SAY SO I AM MADE TO LOSE ONE THING IN ORDER TO EAT, ESPECIALLY IN THE WINTER MONTHS. THE GAS PRICES ARE SO HIGH THAT I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO GET TO WORK JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY. SOMEHOW I MAKE IT. I WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL TO GET MY RN DEGREE BUT I HAVE TO PAY FOR MY SON NEXT YEAR CAN SOMEONE DIRECT ME TO WHERE I CAN FIND HELP TO ALLOW MY SON AND MYSELF TO GO TO SCHOOL WITHOUT GOING TOTALLY BROKE.
Hi, I am 29 years old and have a beautiful 16 mnth daughter that I love and adore. I am newly divorced and my ex did not show up in court the first time and now he is trying to reopen the entire case. This has cost me a ton of money already. I don't have any more money to give my lawyer. She does not accept payment and it seems all lawyers are expensive. My lawyer has done good for me so far. I just don't know what to do. Do I take out a loan or are there grants? Any advise is appreciated. Good luck to all!
I'm 40 with a 4 month old and a 7 year old. STBX is a a sorry excuse for a human that I put through a career change with some schooling in between. I have my degree but am currently working a part time low paying job in my field because it would have been a great situation for working while kids were in school. Now I have to find a regular grind, FT job in my field with a potentially long commute and all that entails (daycare, etc). He told me he was "done" before the baby was a month old. Nice. He's already living with his next meal ticket, a hag who left her young kids a few states away. Big Mistake. She'll find out soon enough. Wait 'til she finds his soiled underwear;)
It is hard and although I am new to single mom-dom, I often realize I'm not really. I look around at my married friends and relatives and see how the women put in 75% or more into the "family" while hubbie just coasts along on cruise control. No, I'm not a man-hater either, I'm just observant. Anyway, my words of wisdom, however naive, are to focus on the positive of the reality. The reality is that if you are now single, you are now free of the aggravation that was surely there before. And, with kids, it takes so much more energy to keep things up while inside you're screaming at someone who's not there even though they are physically taking up space. I find myself laughing alot more with my kids now.
The hard part is having the SBX wanting to introduce the kids to the idiot who left her kids behind. If she doesn't want her OWN kids why the heck do you think she'd want to be with MY kids?!?!? The divorce is not even close to being final. Part of me thinks it's the only way he's been able to get a rise out of me. Even when he informed me he was done I didn't yell or cry. I just said o.k. He's never seen me cry and never will. My very first emotion when he told me was RELIEF. I wasn't crazy afterall! He didn't love me. Probably not for years! Hooray! I'll never getback all the money or the years (over a decade) but I have alot of time left (God willing) and I'm free to use it wisely now. So should you. Like the (very old) song says, accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative....
I was so happy to stumble onto this site - just got done doing dishes while crying, my 2 daughters, 18 and 15 upstairs getting ready for bed, trying not to sniffle too loud so they won't hear. All this time wondering if anyone else knows how hard this is. I read the letter addressed, "Dear Single Mom," What a help that was. I work 2 jobs, attend a night class, and now after having a night off realize why I run around like a chicken with its head cut off...easier to keep busy than wonder if I'll ever be truly happy, if there is anyone that will truly love me AND my kids...when will the struggling with money stop..etc!!! After reading that letter, I ended my pity party. Deal with what life brings you and be happy with what you have. Your children are precious gifts.
Hi, My name is Taysha Lundin i have read alot of these storys, and i myself have a story.I am 22 years old with a 2 1/2 year old girl. The father wanted me to get an abortion and when i said i wouldnt he threatened to kick me in my stomach so the baby wouldnt survive. I was scared. I have overcome alot of obsticles in my life i am a recovered meth user. when i found out i was pregnant i quit cold turkey never been in rehab a day in my life. and i havent used for 2 1/2 years. that makes me proud, shortly before i gave birth my daughters dad overdosed on drugs and was hospitalized. I decided to give him another chance at this time he wasnt doing drugs but instead turned to alcohol. One night when my parents were watching my daughter he bashed my face in with a door leaving me bruised. That was the final straw for me we never lived together thank god. and after that happened i didnt hear from him for 6 months. at this time i was receiving welfare and foodstamps. and yet again i gave him a chance to be a father. i let him keep her overnight after she turned 1 1/2 at him moms house, cause i was scared of him drinking with her because i know he wouldnt take care of her. he pays child support but had the balls to ask me if he payed child support if i could write him a check back for the amount of his child support. the state makes him pay child support. and what really bothers me is he told me if hes going to pay for her hes going to see her. he has been physically and mentally abusive. while i was pregnant. i graduated high school. so in a nine months span i graduated and stopped using drugs. which i was proud of i was in college until a few months ago when i failed out. so i have to figure a way to get back in and get my fincancial aid back. i raised my child for a year by myself and now my daughters father is suing me for visitation rights he has never been there for her and when he was his mother was taking care of her now he moved in with his new girlfriend he has been dating for 6 months he lives in her house pays her rent drives her car cause he doesnt have one. and now hes suing me for visitation. and its the scariest thing in the world i love my daughter to death she is my world i am so depressed with out her around i have no friends just my family and im an only child i have overcome many obsticles in my life i just dont know how to get through this without having a nervous breakdown i work as a waitress so im not rich but i am off welfare and food stamps i support myself and my daughter just fine. my mom babysits for free. i wish that my daughters father would leave us alone and quit paying child support so for all of you who really feel like your alone, your not you always have your children no matter how hard it gets fight for the right to raise your child the way you want them raised dont let there fathers dictate to you what your going to do and how your going to raise them cause in the end your the only person they can count on they have fathers but at the end of the day there fathers can decide to never see them again just remember to breathe and if you need help ask the state for help i know its embarrassing but you need to keep your head held high because your doing something alot of people couldnt do. your raising a child by yourself and your whole life is your children so remember dont lose hope and dont be scared because theres always tomorrow. if anyone ever wants advice or to talk my email is tayshalundin@yahoo.com i would love to talk. thanks for listening taysha
I am a young single mom of only one child. A boy who is 4 months old? He is wonderful but it is hard doing it alone!
What about kids that are not totally healthy..
I am a single mom of 2.. one a genius.. one with special needs that will need to be taken care of for the rest (of my) of his life.
What do you do?
I just lost my job after a major layoff where 70 percent of our site got canned..
I have so much experience, and no degree.. I have to stay local cause of my younger son's special needs issues..
That's one strike..
I have no degree, that's two stikes..
I have no family in town.. that's 3 strikes..
My ex would never let me do anything out of CA.. that's 4 stikes.
I want so bad to get a degree in SOMETHING.. but I can't do that and afford day to day expenses.
I'm so sad.. I'm trying so hard to get a job now, and it's not happening...
I had your blogsite posted on my blog from the first day I started blogging. You are a tremendous asset to a wonderful group of women who not always given the praise and encouragement we deserve!!! Thank you for all that you do!
Your stories are inspirational. I am a single mom of a 7 yr old boy. I have a lot of help from my family and his father, but I am still struggling everyday, mostly financially. I lost my job in May, thought my house was gong to sell, it didn't, so I got a job for less hours/$$ and now I am in danger of losing my house. I hate this situation. It feels like I struggle and get ahead barely, and then it all slides downhill. I don't want to sound like a victim, and honestly the only thing that gets me through the day is repeating "Everything will work out." I've never blogged before, but this was very very helpful to me. Thanks for listening.
Hi- my name is Nikki and I am a single mom of two wonderful girls, ages 11 and 7. I found this website while looking for information on home loans. I have been a single mother for about 8 years now but was really one all along. My ex was abusive to me- both physically and emotionally. I get mad at myself alot because I can't believe I let all this happen to me- I used to be so strong. I moved back to IA from MI and I am staying with my mother right now because she has a medical issue but now is recovering so we have to find a place and my kids and I want to buy a house really bad. If anyone has any info on assistance for buying a home it would be greatly appreciated. My kids are my world but sometimes the stress just overcomes me and feel like I can't go on. Then another day comes and things don't seem so bad-until the next time... I don't receive any support from my ex and he doesn't have much to do with the kids. I work full time and take college classes in elementary education. Financially I am barely squeaking by but more than anything I just feel emotionally drained. I pray everyday that we will make it past all of the heartache and my financial troubles but it seems everyday that I get further in debt. Being lonely doesn't help. I am very thankful that I have my girls but sometimes it's hard not to be jealous of what others' have. I respect all of the single mothers out there and wish all of you the best of luck for the future!!
Hi, My name is Christina and I am a Single mother of a 9 year old girl and a 2 1/2 year old boy. I read Rose's comment below and she is right on that she was an inspiration to me. I write Poetry and Children's stories but never thought I could do anything with them. Being a single mother you need some form of an outlet. Most of us can't go out, can't afford the babysitting costs. Writting is a great outlet. I found by chance this self-publishing site for books, CDs or DVDs. It's really cool, I recomend you check it out if you are a singer, writter or movie maker.They even advertise your creation at Amazon. Good luck!www.createspace.com/3332171
Hello - I am in the process of a divorce. I am a mother of 3. 11yr. old boy and 7yr. old boy girl twins. I did not want a divorce. My husband said he just does not love me anymore. He is in law enforcement and works a lot. He has seen the kids about 12 times since he left about 5months ago. This was such a shock to me. I am really having a hard time believing in myself these days. It still seems like a dream that I will wake up from. But, I never seem to wake up. I know I can do this but I need support and someone else to believe in me too. My husband was always my support and reassured me that I was someone special. Now he doesn't so I don't know where else to go. My children are amazing! I want to make sure that they always know that. In order to do that I need to like myself. I hope that there are more mothers in my position. I still love my husband and I think that is what is holding me back as my own person.
I had my first experience with the "Family Law" department of the Maricopa Superior court 2-4-08. I am completely blown away by what happened. Anyone who cares about the true welfare and best interest of children in Arizona needs to see how our Judicial system allows them to fall through the cracks, even at the hand of one of their own parents!
My x husband and I have 3 kids and have been divorced for 3 yrs. Our original agreement was a "0" spousal/child support agreement. Since then, he has become progressively more bitter, angry and aggressive. He delivers mail and has a Master's Degree in Criminal Justice. I am a Nurse Practitioner, absent a Master's Degree, and we both work full time. I make around 7,000/month and he makes 5,000 per month. We share exactly equal time with the children. When we split, we agreed verbally and in writing that since we share equal care and expenses of the kids we would each assume full responsibility for their care and expenses when they are with us in general and cooperate on any issue that overlaps.
Yesterday, he took me to court to get child support from me. He had no change in circumstance and makes more than when we agreed to the "0" child support issue and I make a little less. The judge didn’t even look at me or respond to anything I said because he was too busy "plugged in the numbers" on his form and now I have to pay my X $269/month. I know this isn't much but it is not the money really but the reason why. I pay for my sons instrument for band class $33/month, I also pay $80/month for their swimming and gymnastic classes and I pay $150/month total into their college funds. This is a total of $263/month I spend every month on the children for nonessential but important elements of their care. Now I have to give this money to him instead. I can not afford to do both. If I tried to continue these expenses for the kids and pay him this child support too, it would be almost an additional $600/month!
What I don't understand the most is how it can possibly be in the children's best interest to take this money to give to their father every month instead of using it to their benefit. I am shocked and have lost all faith in the justice system.
He also informed me that he will be “retiring” from the reserves in November 2008 and when he can show even a further decrease in income, plans to take more money from me and the kids. I cant tell you what tension, strife and financial burden this has placed on everyone and must be a horrible feeling for the kids too even though they are not informed of any of the details, they must see us all upset and distracted all the time
Please, someone needs to reconsider this type of situation where both parents work, have the kids equal time and the benefit of having one parent give money to the other for no justifiable reason. I believe that if this type of joint custody and joint and equal parenting time exists, the parent requesting money from the other parent needs to prove some extraordinary circumstance to justify this and its direct benefit to the children.
No matter who I talk to in the legal world about this looks at me with a blank stare and says “you make more money so you have to pay him”. There is no consideration of what the money was being used for prior to him taking it for himself!
I have to believe there must be some sort of Judicial Oversight Process or something I can do to have this evaluated by someone with a brain and not a robot. I have no more money for attorneys-especially now. I supposedly had a good one but the robot judge ignored her too. I have had to take my kids out of swimming/gymnastics/band and cancel my automatic deposits into their college fund accounts. Someone needs to investigate how blind our child care laws have become and awareness needs to be raised. Any help or suggestions??? Thank Holly Todd
this may sound funny but I really appreciate all the single mommys for (unknowingly)sharing my pain. THANKYOU
Hello I am Diana from Georgia. I have been a single mother all of my childs life. So really I am use to it. It's sad that I cannot even imagine raising my 6 year old son with a man. Now my biggest issue is dealing with lonliness. I feel like everyone is married in my town. I feel like the devil woman or something because I live alone with my son. Everytime someone asks me who do you live with I am ashamed to say alone. I don't know why that bothers me so much but it just does. I cannot get past this lonely feeling and the obsession I have with meeting a man that will be my family. I am on several dating sites and have had no luck yet. Does anyone have these feelings too? Please share them so I don't feel so all alone in this world. Thanks, Diana
Hi, my name is Joe Ann and I have two wonderful little boys, age 3 and 5. I was having a hard time for a while. Not because I did not make enough but because being in a bad maraiage came allot of debt, I needed help with allot of things to get back on my feet and had to rely on others to help. I wanted to find grants but did not want to pay anybody for what was suppose to be free grants. I just thought that some single moms may be interested in this site. http://www.ehow.com/how_2218355_single-parents-school-personal-use.html
It is just a article that explains how to go about getting free grants without using any paid programs, It might be useful for some single moms.
Any ways I am doing allot better now, and am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope this helps anyone else who is looking.
Amy
I would just like to be happy. My kids say I'm a grouch, all I do is work and do the mommy stuff. I am tired and have no life. I want to be fun and happy and just dont know how!!!!!
This is in response to Diana's comment: I have live on & off for the last 7 years with my son’s father. Some times having someone to go home to is not all it's cracked up to be.... especially if you don't want to go home. Right now we are on again and I wish he would just go already I can find a roommate who wouldn't be as cold as he is! Enjoy your children and when you are least expecting it I am sure you will get everything you want! Good luck! Chris
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